We had our first organizational meeting for a canoeing, camping, portaging adventure into the La Cloche Mountains August 21 - 28.

I have begun simulation training carrying a pack of 20 pounds through the mountainous passes of uptown Toronto.

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There is an obvious clash between the traditional architecture and the modern.

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In the International Modern style there are no details. What exists is a factory minimal repetition and a cost efficiency which has carved artisans and artists from the building plan.

It is little wonder that artists are considered to be social radicals. Artists have been forced out of meaningful involvement in our culture by a barbarian pursuit of profit.

The owners of the office tower cluster seem to be adding arcades around the bases of each scraper. The post-modern architects value traditional architectural language. Presuming I know how the corporate mind functions I believe it is possible to presume that the arcade is to protect the consortium from lawsuits resulting from objects falling off the buildings onto pedestrians. But, in the end, the function of the arcade will be utilized by people as a shelter from rain and snow (glass and panels) and a meeting place for office workers during lunch and smoke breaks.

The corporate/governmental arts community does a little better in the evolution of their relationship between form and function and decor... but, this water park of a performance venue, beautiful as it is, is private and the park has no people in it because only ticket holders and shareholders may enter.

On both ways, to and from, Mountain Equipment Coop; I read the professional icons on The Walk of Fame.

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Much of the walk cobbles are mementos of Canadians who have succeeded in the United States of American corp cult industries or played in large franchises. I suppose it is a governmental (propaganda) reminder to American tourists and Toronto citizens that "we" are into it too. American by culture and trade, isolated north in a wilderness domain without the vote.

Represented are: actors, athletes, musicians, movie directors, a smattering of writers; and... no painters. None that I could see in two passes, westward to get supplies for the expedition, and eastward packing them 16,100 steps back to and from the boon docks - downtown.

I've been working my body and my mind for the expedition of challenging physical exercise and difficult, sometimes paradoxical fireside chats.

I have completed the painting begun 07-16 "Atlantic Sunrise" inspired by the painterly approach of Bill Schwarz (speaking through video at the 07-16 link). Bill almost always begins a painting with a black gesso.

Mouse over the above reproduction for detail of the paint of my painting, Atlantic Sunrise.

I had to call it Atlantic Sunrise because the presumption was California Sunset. Why is that? Some of the best surfers on the planet come from Georgia. I have been reduced to using English to locate my painting. I Conceptualist. It makes a huge difference: west coast sunset and east coast sunrise. The feel is totally different.

I may be coming at this, this analysis of local culture, from the wrong standpoint. It maybe that it is I who is lacking in skill, inspiration, determination. If I were to take that point of view then there would be nothing to criticize except for myself. It would be I who has failed to live up to the standard. That would leave me free to quit painting and take up some other hobby in my retirement and, perhaps, allow me some peace of mind.

It is, as you might imagine, difficult to spend 55 years and never to have outgrown teenage anxieties, especially the nagging questions of: "Who am I and what will I be when I grow up?"

The problem that arises is: I have invested heavily in my art. It is difficult to give it up. I could say that I have spent my entire adult, post graduate life working as a failed artist and always dreamed that when it came to retirement that I could take up an office job. I always wanted to do that, to have a cubicle, workmates, play on the softball team, go to Christmas parties, and (not least of all) collect a paycheck and eventually earn a pension.

It's a good idea but nobody hires a senior citizen except for, perhaps, a fast food chain to work the morning and afternoon shifts. There probably wouldn't be a softball team.

I'm doomed.

I'll never grow up.

I don't care.

I'll become a full time blogger without a readership... another neo-nerd.